The reasons that your ex chooses to initiate this type of relationship are diverse. They can date someone different from you to avoid experiencing the same issues. Whereas, others find rebound relationships as a form of escapism. If your ex rebounded really fast they were searching for ways to distance themselves from the breakup. They go into a new relationship because they need some comfort. They need to feel better about the end of the previous relationship. This is why your ex either chooses to use their feelings or just be numb in this relationship! Before diving into signs of a rebound relationship, let’s tackle the difference between it and a serious relationship.
A rebound relationship vs A serious relationship
Rebound relationships have become more common over time and sometimes they can seem “organic” at some point. Yet, here are some things o point out from these two types of relationships:
- If your ex is in a rebound relationship, they try to escape mostly their feelings and responsibilities. A rebound relationship feels like taking a shortcut to something better or it feels like you’re finding a quick solution to heal your pain The main aim that someone entering a rebound relationship is selfish and shallow reasons.
- In a rebound relationship, your ex tries to not include their feelings to that extent to be hurt. In a few words, they don’t have any expectations from their new partner. As the researcher, Lue stated, your ex finds the new partner as someone that can help them to make the transition. They want to make the transition from a rebound relationship to a serious relationship. Whereas, when you’re in a serious relationship you try to include feelings in this relationship and take responsibility for your actions. A rebound relationship is more about infatuation or lust. On the other hand, a serious relationship is more about true love, sacrifice, vulnerability, and being committed. 10 fundamental signs your ex is in a rebound relationship.
1. Their new partner is the total opposite of you
Being in a relationship with one person, you would know their preferences and their personality. If they start to date someone that is completely different from you, that is quite suspicious. This might sound cliche or not accurate, yet, it’s one of the main signs your ex is in a rebound relationship. It’s one of the main signs that your ex is feeding their ego and making themselves feel better. They want to show indirectly that you were the initiator of the breakup. This way, your ex feels powerful and implies that they’re winning the breakup.
2. Your ex flexes about their new partner
One of the dead signs that your ex is in a rebound relationship is that they flaunt their ex on your face. In this case, they do it directly or indirectly. Your ex can either keep in touch with you just to tease you from time to time. They would share unnecessary information about their relationship. They would post a ton of pictures with them and expose their “unconditional” love. They are more in love with the idea of what the relationship looks like. At some point, your ex doesn’t care if they are compatible or in love with their new partner. They just want to tell you that they already got over you. They want to make themselves sure that they are not attracted or attached to you anymore. When an ex tries to convince you that they are over you, they still have feelings for you. Currently, they’re dealing with emotions and are stuck in limbo.
3. They keep the relationship superficial
When a relationship is a rebound it might feel or sound real but there is always a missing piece. If your ex isn’t fully committed to that relationship and doesn’t take it slow, the relationship doesn’t feel organic. They might feel lonely and depressed. Since they haven’t worked on their feelings yet, they tend to be distant from reality. That’s why without understanding what they’re feeling at that moment, they can’t let you go. They can’t replace old feelings with new ones without healing from the breakup first. The relationship has no emotional intimacy and your ex avoids being attracted to their partner emotionally. Your ex is just seeking sexual intimacy and doesn’t bother to look at the future. For them, it’s important to live in the moment, ease their pain, and fulfill their needs.
4. They keep moving fast forward in the relationship
Everyone has different ways of moving forward in the relationship. It’s all about games and rebound when an ex moves faster in a relationship with you. What an ex does is take all the energy and the idea of closeness that they had with you in their new relationship. They are creating the same level of commitment that they had with you. They want to create once something that they had but minus the struggle and negative parts. For them, it feels comfortable this way. They feel like this is the exact place where they should be and this is what they deserve. This is called displacement– which is some sort of defense mechanism that your ex is using after the breakup. They’re coping with loneliness and anxiety in this form.
5. Your ex keeps still in touch with you
If an ex wants to get you back and isn’t serious about the other relationship, they will keep in touch with you. Whenever you talk or meet, they won’t mention their ex that much. The conversations will be centered mostly around you and your life. When a dumper has hit the remorse stage, they noticed that the other partner isn’t you. In many cases, dumpers think that they can ease the pain and regret by being with someone else. Yet, since in a rebound relationship one cannot be fully content, your ex now craves your attention. If an ex is not over you and is in a rebound relationship, they wouldn’t cut communication with you.
6. They tell you about the new relationship
When your ex is in another relationship but keeps you updated about their new relationship, that is some rebound material. They are vulnerable with you and inform you with every detail about their new partner. Your ex might do it to make you either jealous of them or reattract you. When someone is done with you they will block you. They would never want to do with you again nor talk to you about their life. Hence, if two of you agreed to stay friends then they might open up to you as a friend. To make the difference, take a closer look at the things that they tell you. If your ex is a part of a relationship and wants to make you jealous:
They would slightly make a comparison between you and their new partner;They would tell you about all the things that they do, that maybe you loved to do together;
This way, they cope with the feelings after the breakup. They would feel superior while sharing those pieces of information.
7. They use their new partner to make you jealous
One of the reasons an ex jumps into a rebound relationship fast is to make you jealous, feel guilty, and bring you back. Since the feelings of your ex haven’t been resolved yet, they use their partner as a trophy. Whenever you’re around them or on social media, they would show the way they love their partner. When an ex is in a rebound relationship, is more about showing than feeling love or committing to it. If an ex cared about their new partner or their feelings, they would never use them to attract your attention. Making this distinction you can notice that the relationship isn’t serious. Your ex doesn’t tend to give full attention and appreciation to them.
8. Your ex behaves differently and is confused
While acting in a strange way, your ex might send you mixed signals. Since they haven’t sorted out their feelings yet, their mood changes frequently. One day, they’re on top of the world and content with their ex. The other day they would be pissed at you for no reason. These kinds of feelings, disbalance them from moving on. You notice that they’re part of a rebound relationship when they’re pondering their decision. These two types of situations can help you get a whole picture:
Your ex might keep checking up on you and being interested in you;On the other day, they would post everything to show how happy they are in a new relationship;
9. Your ex’s new partner resembles you
I know that at this sign you might be confused too. You’ll wonder if they had me just like that, why would they date someone similar? Your ex dates someone similar because they want something familiar but that they can navigate easily. In this situation, your ex finds comfort in something that they already know. This type of relationship is based on the idea and not on your ex’s feelings about their new partner. At this moment, your ex lacks self-confidence, and staying in a comfort zone helps them to cope with the breakup. Your ex still thinks of you and longs for you if they already are dealing with a similar person.
10. They don’t include their partner in their social circle
Usually, an ex that enters a rebound relationship is emotionally unavailable. In this case, they erase the deep feelings of love and connect with their partner. They avoid including their new partner in their activities or spending time together to know better each other. Additionally, they avoid spending time together with friends and their partners at the same time. They do it because they’re uncertain about this relationship. When a man or woman introduces you to their friends that means that you’re a part of their life now. Keeping their partner just to themselves is a tool to pause everything that is happening after the breakup.
What to do if your ex is in a rebound relationship?
If your ex is in a rebound relationship, you should concentrate on healing yourself first. Being obsessed with your ex and wondering if they will be back, will only mix your thoughts even more.
- The first thing you should do is start to use the No Contact Rule. While using this rule, you distance yourself from everything. You learn to cope with your feelings and sort them out. With time, you’ll start to think and feel differently from the moment you broke up. I know that the moment your ex is in a rebound relationship you ask what should you do? I am aware that the first thing you want to do is contact them, that’s very normal at that stage. Yet, not giving up on your feelings and using No Contact can help you avoid some mistakes. You won’t give your ex a chance to act hot and cold, to use you, or go back into a toxic relationship.
- Before making any decision, check out if your ex’s feelings are real. Even if your ex is in a rebound relationship that doesn’t always mean that they have feelings for you, or want you back. An ex can be a part of a rebound relationship and still keep in contact with you. They might do it to boost their ego or just to keep you as a second option. That’s why being distant would help you get a grip on your ex’s reasons for being in a rebound relationship.
- Focus on your healing and be mysterious. The moment you don’t pursue your ex that will help you get them back if they want to get back with you. You can do it, by removing your ex from social media and working on your flaws at the same time. You don’t even post about it on social media, you just need to progress slowly in silence.
- Don’t try to make your ex feel guilty for being a part of a rebound. It’s quite normal to want to do it right after the breakup. Even if you’re the dumper or the dumpee you might feel the urge to make your ex feel guilty. You want to make them notice what they have lost. You should avoid changing things that aren’t under your control. Your ex’s feelings and thoughts aren’t under your control. All you need is to lead yourself towards emotional freedom. Once, you’re feeling good about yourself, you’ll reflect that also to your ex. If you put too much pressure on them, that will only pull your ex away even more.
My ex is in love with his rebound
Your ex can’t love their rebound right away. It takes time for everyone to develop feelings for someone else, after a breakup.
- They might think that they love their rebound partner but actually, they are in love with the idea. They’re in love with the idea of how this relationship will work and they’ll know what to do this time. This is closely linked to the attachment style of your ex. If they have an anxious attachment style then they will think right away that they’re in love with them. They have an unhealthy way of viewing love and falling in love. In this situation, your ex is afraid of being lonely and they need someone’s attention to feel fulfilled.
- If your ex has an avoidant attachment style, they need time to gain energy for themselves after the breakup. In this case, your ex doesn’t need the closeness, they just don’t need it. If they were used to you, got close to you, now it’s hard for them to detach. They just need more time to process the situation, before falling in love with their rebound.
Is my ex in a rebound relationship?
Your ex is in a rebound relationship if their behavior and mood change constantly and they give you mixed signals. A rebound relationship doesn’t mean to be the one that your ex enters immediately after the breakup or with a stranger. If your ex jumped into another relationship with a close friend or after some time, that is also a rebound. The time and the way they do it don’t define it. What defines it, are the feelings, time, and attention, that your ex invests in their new partner. Thus, don’t be fixated on this situation. Practice distance and look forward. Take care, Callisto
